A Lesson Learnt

Its the International Women's Day.
Literally, it is meant to encourage women to be strong.
Yet, I discovered a shocking news today that would nearly destroy me and ruin my future.
Since its the day that meant for women to be strong, I would share my story here.
To mark as a lesson for myself, and a gentle reminder for others.

I was cheated by my ex-boyfriend all these while.
He has another girlfriend besides me being the one.
But this isn't the reason that we broke up.
I only discovered this afterwards.

Things hasn't been going quite well before the relationship end.
I sense something, but wasn't exactly quite sure what it is.
I thought he is just a little bit of uncaring, a little bit of careless and kinda busy.

There were a few times where I found the evidences.
Yes, evidenceS.
Well, I didn't take it as an evidence of cheating at that point of time.

The biggest mistake I've done is to trust him too much, to the extent of finding excuses for him when I found those evidences.
I even thought of a acceptable reason for him to acknowledge when I was confronting him.
He just has no reason to cheat on me, he's the loyalty kind, I thought.

But what's more, it is not the kind of story where we live happily and another girl came in.
It is a story of me being the third party. In the context of a traditional chinese couple family, I was the mistress that were kept nicely and secretly without the knowing of the wife.
And of course, without the knowing of the mistress too.

There were signals here and there, there were friends' kind reminders, there were families' warnings.
I was just too deep into it.
Coming to think of it, it all make sense now.
The small number of talks and communication, the refusal of him taking photo using his handphone, the intimate addressing of a unknown phone number as 'babe'.

But I just believe in all of his explainations in every single little thing.

I thought I was rasional that time, I though I was smart enough to differentiate lies and truth.
Eventually, it is never about rasionality or intelligence.
When someone has the intention to cheat, he'll just do everything that make sure you believe.
You'll never have a clear mind until the day he left your life.

So, widen up your eyes everyone. Not just girls, for guys too.
No gender differentiate in this.

What's more important, is to have the courage to walk out from the mess afterhand.
Its too silly to allow this kind of person to destroy your life.

Easier said than done.
I'm struggling to pull myself up too.
I have a thesis to complete in one month's time.
I've been 'grieving' for quite some time and now I'm taking the risk of not graduating in time because of all these mess.

Don't allow others to take advantage of your kindness.
When someone told you that you're considerate, you are.
When someone told you that you're reasonable, you are.
But don't ever let him use these characteristics to take control of you.

Sometimes, its good to bear the pain and let go.
Sometimes, its good to trust your own instinct for a while.

Like what I said, I sense something, but I wasn't quite sure what it is.
I just know this is not the relationship that I want. That's intinct.
It isn't telling me directly that he's cheating, but it do serve as a warning.

Then, I found out all the scandals after I walked away.
My instict is proven.